哈佛大学20句忠告是给自己、孩子的最好祝福
2017-01-29 17:20:49 作者：Jing Jin 来源：小花生网 浏览次数：0 网友评论 0 条
养成这20种习惯，将是这一年
给自己、给孩子最好的祝福
我们一生都在追求幸福，我们期待自己获得幸福，更期待孩子拥有幸福。
对于幸福，我们很多人的第一感往往是这样的：
◦如果我得到那个职位，我会快乐 ...
◦如果我得到那个人的爱，我会快乐 ...
◦如果我的孩子能进入一个理想的学校，我会快乐...
如此，等等。但哈佛的那些研究“幸福”的心理专家和神经学专家说：
错了，大错特错！事实上，幸福公式正好是相反的：快乐带来成功，而不是成功带来快乐。因为当我们感到快乐的时候，我们的头脑会更有动力、更有专注力、更有创造力、更有活力、更有耐力，总之，更富有生产力。
Happiness fuels success, not the other way around. When we’re happy, our brains are more motivated, engaged, creative, energetic, resilient and productive.
这似乎又在说：心态决定命运。生活，本来就不是轻松的事。任何时候，我们都会面临各种大大小小的挑战，要跨越不曾跨越的障碍，要达到不曾达到的目标。在充满挑战的人生路上，我们如何让自己保持快乐，随时随地获得幸福？
哈佛的专家们认为，要获得幸福，这20种心理习惯，你需要刻意培养！虽然这些习惯听起来很普通，可一旦养成，哈佛教授说：happiness, guaranteed ：）
仔细对照一下，你做到了哪几条？2017年，特别希望能做到哪几条？
01 学会感恩Be grateful
Slow down, look around you, and pay attention to the little details in your life – the delicate purple flower on the sidewalk, the beautiful sunset, the hot shower that washes away your long day, and the smile in your partner’s eyes… When you have a grateful heart that is appreciative of life’s beautify, wonder and blessings, you’re automatically filled with happiness.
让自己变慢脚步，看看你的四周，关注生活中的细微之处：人行道上淡紫色的花，美丽的日落，洗去你一天疲惫的淋浴，伴侣眼中的笑容。
当你的感恩之心能够欣赏生活的美，思考和祝福，你自然就充满了幸福感。
02 明智交友Choose your friends wisely
According to Harvard, the most important external factors affecting individual happiness are human relationships. So if you want to be happy, choose to be around people who are optimistic, who appreciate you as you are, and who can make your life richer, bigger, more fun, and more meaningful.
根据哈佛研究，影响个人幸福最重要的外部因素是人际关系。所以如果你想变得开心的话，要选择和乐观的朋友在一起，他们能欣赏你真实的自己，让你的生活变得更丰富，快乐，有意义。
03 培养同情心Cultivate compassion
When we try to step into other people’s shoes and understand a situation from another’s perspective, we’re more likely to handle the situation with compassion, objectivity and effectiveness. There will be less conflicts and more happiness.
当我们代替别人，站在另一个角度看问题，我们更能用同情心，客观和有效的处理问题。生活中就会少一些冲突，多一点快乐。
04 坚持学习Keep learning
Learning keeps us young and dreams keep us alive. When we engage our brains and put them toward productive uses, we’re less likely to dwell on unhappy thoughts and much more likely to feel happy and fulfilled.
学习让我们保持年轻，梦想让我们充满活力。我们运用大脑，进行运作的时候，我们就不大会想不开心心的事情，我们会变得更开心和满足。
05 成为问题解决者Become a problem solver
Happy people are problem solvers. When they encounter a challenge in life, they don’t beat themselves up and fall into a depressive state. Instead, they face up to the challenge and channel their energies toward finding creative a solution. By becoming a problem solver, you’ll build up your self-confidence and your ability to accomplish whatever it is you set your mind to – and whatever challenges life throws your way.
开心的人是会解决问题的人。在生活中遇到挑战的时候，他们不会自虐，然后变得很消沉。他们会直面挑战，调动全身力量寻找解决办法。通过变成一个解决问题的人，你会建立自己的自信心和下决心要的事情和直面挑战的能力。
06 做你喜欢的事 Do what you love
Since we spend over one-third of our adult life working, loving what we do has a huge impact on our overall happiness. If this is not possible at the moment, then try to find enjoyment and meaning in your current work, or cultivate a hobby that involves doing something you love.
既然我们成人生活的三分之一时间都在工作，那么做我们想做的事对我们的整体幸福感就有很大的影响。如果现在不能做你想做的事情，那就试着在你现在的工作中寻找快乐和意义，或者培养一个你喜爱的兴趣。
07 活在当下 Live in the present
When you feel depressed, you’re living in the past. When you feel worried or anxious, you’re living in the future. But when you feel content, happy and peaceful, you’re living in the present.
你感到沮丧，是因为你活在过去。你会感到担忧和焦虑，是因为你活在未来。但是当你感到满足，开心和平和时，你才是活在当下。
08 笑口常开 Laugh often
Laughter is the most powerful anecdote to anger or depression. Research has shown that the simple act of curving the corners of your mouth can increase your feeling of happiness. So don’t take life too seriously. Try to find humor and laughter in life’s everyday struggles.
笑是对抗生气或沮丧最有力的的东西。研究表明简单的嘴巴上扬也可以增加你的幸福感。不要把生活看的太严肃。要学会在每日的奋斗中寻找幽默感和笑声。
09 学会宽恕 Practice forgiveness
Resentment and anger are forms of self-punishment. When you forgive, you’re actually practicing kindness to yourself. And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s through our mistakes that we learn and grow to become a bigger and better person.
憎恨和生气是对自我的惩罚。当你释怀的时候，事实上你是在对自己施以善意。最重要的是，学会原谅自己。每个人都犯错。只有通过我们的错误，我们才慢慢学会如何成为一个更强大，更好的人。
10 经常说谢谢 Say thanks often
Always be appreciative of the blessings in your life. And it’s equally important to express your appreciation to those who’ve made your life better in some way, big or small.
对生活中的祝福要学会欣赏。向那些让你生活变好的人，无论或大或小，表达出你的欣赏之情也同样重要。
11 建立深交 Create deeper connections
Our happiness multiplies when we connect and bond with another human being on a deeper level. And being fully present and listening are two of the most important skills to strengthening that bond and bringing happiness to ourselves, and to others.
我们的幸福感会在和另一个人的深交中不断猛增。专注聆听是加强这种关系纽带和把幸福感带给自己和别人的两个最重要的方面。
12 信守承诺 Keep your agreement
Our self-esteem is built on the agreements we’ve made with ourselves. And high self-esteem has a direct correlation to happiness. So keep your agreements with others and with yourself.
我们的自尊是建立在我们对自己守承诺的情况下。高度的自尊和幸福感有直接关联。所以要对自己和别人遵守承诺。
13 学会冥想 Meditate
According to Harvard, people who take 8 sessions of mindfulness meditation training are, on average, 20% happier than a control group. Such training can lead to structural brain changes including increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion and introspection.
根据哈佛研究，平均上过8次冥想训练的人要比控制狂多开心20%。这样的训练可以导致大脑结构变化，包括海马体黑色物质的密度，其对学习和记忆很重要，在结构上和自我意识，同情心和反省。
14 保持专注 Focus on what you're doing
When you put your mind, heart and soul into what you’re doing, you’re creating a happiness state – called the “flow.” When you’re living in the flow, you’re less likely to care about what others may think of you, and less bothered by things that are not that important. The result? More happiness, of course!
当你全身心投入一件事的时候，你就会处于一个开心的状态。当我们处于这种状态，你就不大会关心别人对你怎么看，不大会被不大重要的事情干扰。结果呢？更幸福，当然啦！
15 保持乐观 Be optimistic
For happy people, the glass is always half-full. If your tendency is to imagine the very worst-case scenario every time you face a challenge, then train yourself to reverse that tendency. Ask yourself what good can come out of the situation or what you can learn from it. Optimism surely fuels success and happiness.
对于开心的人来说，玻璃都一直是半满的。每当你面对一个挑战时，如果你倾向于想象最坏的想法，那就自我转换这种情况。告诉你自己一个状况中的好处或者你从中学到的东西。乐观肯定能驱动成功和幸福感。
16 无条件去爱 Love unconditionally
No one is perfect. Accept yourself for all of your imperfections. And do so for others. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you need to spend all your time with them or help them figure out their problems. Unconditional love means accepting people as they are, and allowing them to find their own ways, at their own pace.
没人是完美的。接受你自己所有的不完美。也要这样对待别人。无条件的爱一个人并不意味着你要花所有的时间和他们在一起，或者帮助他们解决问题。无条件的爱意味着接受真实的他们，以他们自己的步伐，让他们自己摸索。
17 不放弃 Don't give up
Unfinished projects and repeated defeats inevitably dampen one’s self-esteem. If you’ve made up your mind to do something, see it through. Don’t give up until you succeed. Remember, failure is temporary but defeat is permanent. And defeat only occurs when you give up.
没有完成的方案和不断的失败不可避免的会削弱你的自尊。如果你决定做某事，做完它。在成功之前都不要放弃。要记住，失败是暂时的，打败的永存的。只有当你放弃的时候，你才会被打败。
18 尽人事听天命 Do your best and then let go
Everyone has limitations, and things don’t always turn out to be what we’d like them to be – despite our efforts. So always give your best, and then let go. Let events run their course. When you’ve done your best, you’ll have no regrets.
每个人都有局限性。而且有时候尽管我们很努力做一件事情，但是总会事与愿违。所以做最好的自己，然后放手。当你尽了全力，你就没有遗憾了。
19 照顾好自己 Take care of yourself
A healthy body is the key to happiness. If you have poor health, it’s very difficult to be happy no matter how hard you try. So make sure you eat well, exercise and find time to rest. Take good care of your body, your mind and your spirit.
一个健康的身体是幸福的关键。如果你身体不好，你无论如何努力，都很难快乐。确信自己吃得好，做锻炼，找点时间休息。好好照顾你的身体，大脑和精神。
20 学会给予 Give back
Doing good is one of the surest ways to feel good. According to Harvard, when people do good, their brains becomes active in the very same reward center that is stimulated when they experience other rewards. So it’s not a surprise that people who care more about others are happier than those who care less about others.
做好事是最能确保你心情好的方法之一。根据哈佛，人们做好事，他们的大脑变得活跃，就好像当你经历别的奖励时，大脑所受的刺激。所以，那些关心别人的人要比不大关心别人的人更开心。
要让自己能随时体会到人生中的幸福，需要我们有意识的努力。你不能直接说：给我快乐，给我幸福；你要做的是专注于培养这些“幸福习惯”，这些习惯一旦养成，再说一遍，happiness，guaranteed ：）
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